Why I Stopped Drinking Alcohol

“Essentially the alcohol culture promotes letting loose and having a good time, but I was restricting my capacity without alcohol to have fun, feel good and put my mind at ease, because 'loosening up' required a muscle in my brain that I didn't know how to work without alcohol.”

In the beginning after I decided to call it quits for the first time, I dreaded having to explain to my friends that I didn’t want to drink, or asking the bar tender for yet another diet coke. Now it’s a conversation starter, plus I have fun asking bartenders to test their skills with their favorite mock tail. To be clear, I have no problem with people drinking alcohol, but I do have my reservations about heavy intoxication and individuals being belligerent (I was a bouncer for a couple of years back in college, comes with the territory). In part my decision does have to do with health as many would assume (blunts hormone levels, increases fat storage, etc.) but it cuts a bit deeper than that. It’s also important to note, that when I refer to the alcohol culture I’m not referring to enjoying a glass of wine at dinner or having a cocktail with a friend. This piece is directed more towards the fact that alcohol was introduced to me as a pre-requisite for having a good time.

“I was introduced to alcohol as a party drug, not as a representation of beverage craftsmanship, and so I operated through this ‘party drug’ from day one of partying as an adult.”

When I was younger, it didn't seem like there was much difference between a great night out and a black out. So essentially, I was programmed to believe that the key to a good time was through alcohol. That’s what separate’s what’s being addressed in this article from the craftsmanship of a great cocktail or the work that goes into a good bourbon or a fine wine. I was introduced to alcohol as a party drug, not as a representation of beverage craftsmanship, and so I operated through this ‘party drug’ from day one of partying as an adult. 'How could I possibly develop as a person in social settings and put my mind at ease without alcohol?' is something I had always wondered.

Many people believe the transition in things that we enjoy as we get older is the sign of age, but I would argue it is simply greater discernment in the things that make us happy. Some people may not even notice that as their alcohol tolerance declines, so does their desire or ability to function in social settings. I for one have not changed the social settings that I find myself in in the absence of alcohol: at a barbecue, on the dance floor, etc. But many other people will go out hoping they can drink their way into a good time. And if they’re unable to do so, they’re left with regret…not to mention a bigger credit card bill and a painful hangover.

The rebuttal to this of course is “what about the state of being ‘tipsy’? When you’re not completely drunk, your inhibitions are down and you’re having more fun and enjoying things more”. The reduction in inhibitions implies that what you’re doing and how you’re engaging is something you’re fully capable of on your own. You simply need a dopamine trigger to be in that state. Stress, worry, tension, anxiety etc. occur in all of us and can inhibit us from opening up. But imagine if we could address and control these things without being in a chemically altered state. I get wanting a drink because you’re stressed out, but if you found a way to relieve that stress or you could root out what keeps you from mentally freeing yourself then you can put your mind at ease at any time, as opposed to waiting for the next Friday night with your friends. Essentially the alcohol culture promotes letting loose and having a good time, but I was restricting my capacity without alcohol to have fun, feel good and put my mind at ease, because 'loosening up' required a muscle in my brain that I didn't know how to work without alcohol.

If you drink too much caffeine, for too long, you will feel tired without it. And if you go into too many social occasions using alcohol as a crutch for dopamine, you will find it more difficult to enjoy a social occasion without it. I had the advantage of not being a regular drinker when I was young due to my involvement in fitness competitions. In addition, I was working as a bouncer to make ends meet, so I was regularly watching adults risk their marriages, their relationships, their friendships, their livelihoods and their reputations all in an effort to ‘feel something, or have a good time’. If you don’t feel like this applies to you, that’s excellent, but the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD) reports that 1 out of every 12 adults suffers from alcohol abuse or dependency. So in a fraternity/sorority of 60 people in college there could be 5, or in a bar of 120 people, there could be 10 who have never moved on from heavy alcohol consumption to keep themselves going. Alcohol dependency can be extreme or as minute as needing alcohol to function in certain situations or to sleep. Knowing all this didn't cause me to resent alcohol, but the state of being heavily intoxicated or dependent. Unlike many other addictive drugs, alcohol withdrawal can be lethal.

So after years of being a social drinker and not being its biggest fan I began practicing the ‘one beer rule’ with a few friends to overcome the social pressure of drinking more in a bar or social setting. If I held on to an empty can or dark bottle after drinking, bartenders and friends were less inclined to ask me if I wanted another one and there was less social awkwardness hanging out at a table or at the bar.

“Not to mention it said a lot about the character of the people I was with…and the love I had for them that I could feel that way without chemically induced dopamine.”

But then finally I had a run in with a terrible hangover and subsequent tension headaches. I was getting ready for a power lifting competition and I was cutting water making it easy for me to become dehydrated. So I had to cut the alcohol to stop the tension headaches from happening. Shortly after I went to Cancun for a close friend’s bachelor party, which in my opinion would be my greatest test: an all you can eat, all you can drink resort for 3 days. Not only did I have a comfort level with the group that I was with that allowed me to have a good time, but the occasion itself prompted me to let loose and worry less, which served as proof that I could reach this state on my own. Not to mention it said a lot about the character of the people I was with that I wasn’t tempted and the love I had for them that I could feel that way without chemically induced dopamine.

So I had already begun working my way out of using alcohol as a crutch in social situations because I no longer favored the state of being drunk and then I get hit with a hangover and headaches that temporarily forced the issue physically. But most people still turn right around and go back to it after swearing 'I'll never drink again'. What was different for me in addition to the things I've discovered about myself above was the principle: "I don't need this to have a good time, my friends don't need me to be intoxicated to enjoy my company and I'm not going to do this simply because everyone else is...plus it gets kind of expensive"

So what does all this mean for my social life? Many would assume I go out less in an effort to avoid alcohol, but in reality because it costs less for me to have a night out and I don’t fear the repercussions of a hangover the following day I find myself willing to go out more. So whether it be for fitness, self-discovery or avoiding becoming a statistic, if you’ve ever thought about calling it quits with alcohol, take the plunge, learn more about what makes you happy and don’t wait until happy hour to address what’s going on in your head.